Father Chet, 2004*
Are we growing greater in our relationship with God? How can we tell?
The Holy Spirit leads different souls in different ways. Each person’s journey of faith is unique and somewhat different from every other person. But still, it can be difficult to see ourselves clearly. This is why having a spiritual director, or guide, can help.
Spiritual directors respect the distinctiveness of each person who comes for direction. They can discern more clearly whether a directee is making progress toward holiness and wholeness. Then, importantly, celebrate that growth. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus tells us, “You will know them by their fruits” (Matt 7:20). While each person’s journey is unique, there are signs of spiritual progress present in the life of a healthy, growing, maturing person. These are the fruits of following the will of God rather than our own.
Gratitude to God
One of the easiest ways to discern spiritual progress is a growing awareness of greater gratitude to God. Gratitude is a very positive way of practicing humility and counteracting pride and self-centeredness. It clearly recognizes the meaning of Paul’s challenge, “What do you have that you did not receive? And if you received it, why do you boast as if it were not a gift?” (1 Cor 4:7). Humility and gratitude are based on truth. We acknowledge that everything is a gift from God. Then the best way to recognize this is to give humble thanks to God.
Gratitude should be the very first thought upon awakening in the morning. We thank God for the gift of a new day of life and for the sleep and rest God has just given us. Gratitude should be the last thought at night before falling off to sleep. We thank God for the gifts of the whole day.
As each hour of the day passes and a new experience of God’s generosity is recognized, a quick look or word or thought of thanks may be lifted up to God. When someone compliments us for a job well done, we should accept the compliment graciously and at once pass the compliment on to God in an act of gratitude.
As the years of our lives pass by we should be able to discern a growing awareness of greater gratitude to God. If this is true, we have a clear sign that we are on the right road to holiness and that our journey of faith is progressing in the right direction.
Greater Trust
A second sign of spiritual progress is a growing awareness of greater trust in God. More than any other teaching in the Gospels, Jesus insists on blind faith and trust in God. It is the key that unlocks the infinite treasures of God’s love, mercy, and goodness.
Confidence in God is emphasized more in the 150 Psalms of the Old Testament than any other aspect of our relationship with God. According to the Psalms, this trust in God is based on two attributes of God’s nature: hesed, or loving kindness, and emeth, or faithfulness. God, of course, is more: infinite in power, goodness, wisdom, and truthfulness. As we continue to experience God’s goodness, there should be within us a constant, growing awareness of greater trust.
Intimacy with Jesus
A third sign of spiritual progress is a growing awareness of a greater intimacy with Jesus. This is the experience of every Christian saint. The more real the mutual relationship of love between Jesus and a soul, the more holy that person is.
An intimate relationship of love with Jesus is not developed overnight. Like any lasting relationship, it is something that we need to work at for many years.
The Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John need to be read and reread many times, constantly searching to probe the mystery of the “Word made flesh.” Every detail of the Gospels will be studied, every word attributed to Jesus will be reflected on.
Gradually, after many years, Jesus becomes alive as a real person, someone with whom we can relate in a deep, personal friendship; someone with whom we spend many hours in loving conversation. We begin to feel free to talk to Jesus about any detail of our lives. Gradually, either directly in the depths of our inner being or through the words of Jesus in the Gospels, we will recognize the voice of Jesus speaking to oneself.
Humble Submission
A fourth sign of spiritual progress is a growing awareness of humble submission of our human will to the will of God. As we grow in holiness there is less resistance to the carrying out of God’s will. We begin to recognize that God knows what is best and that it is the height of foolishness to pit our knowledge and wisdom against that of God. God has our best interests at heart, and we benefit when we submit our will to God’s. Therefore, there is now less and less time between the moment we become aware of what God wills for us and the moment we begin to carry out God’s will.
Simpler Living
A fifth sign of spiritual growth is the adoption of a simplicity of lifestyle. As we progress in holiness, our desires for worldly goods and sensual pleasures become less and less. We become content to do with less of the good things of earth rather than more and more.
It is not that we do not appreciate the value of God’s earthly gifts; if anything, our appreciation grows. Even the simplest bodily and earthly pleasures take on a mystical, spiritual value. We no longer need an overabundance of earthly possessions and pleasures in order to satisfy us.
Now our love and concern for others is so great that we are readier to share with them the many gifts of God. As St. Paul says, “It is a question of a fair balance between your present abundance and their need, so that their abundance may be for your need, in order that there may be a fair balance” (2 Cor 8:13–14).
Desire and Longing
A sixth sign of spiritual progress is an ever-greater desire and longing for God, for God’s love, and for holiness. This desire becomes so intense that it dominates all other desires. The motivation behind this desire is a more and more pure love of God and a less and less love of ourselves apart from God.
We want to be holy because this is what God wants for us rather than what we might want for ourselves. This longing for God, which we begin to experience, explains why so many of the saints looked forward to death rather than being afraid of death.
More Attentive
A seventh sign of spiritual growth is the fact that the thought of God more and more predominates our attention. This thought of God is more consistently present throughout the waking hours of the day than was true at an earlier period of our lives. Our conscious mind and will are more centered on God and the things of God than was true in the past.
This is a very authentic sign that our love for God is growing. When we are deeply in love with another person, it is almost impossible to get the thought of that person out of our mind. Thinking about the beloved is one way of staying in the presence of that person. It is the way we are able to send out a constant stream of love and desire toward the object of our love.
Greater Peace
An eighth sign of spiritual progress is an ever-greater experience of deep, inner peace regardless of the outer circumstances. This is a threefold peace: peace with God, with others, and with our inner self.
St. Augustine defines peace as the tranquility of order. First, the right order is that God, and God’s will, is always the priority. Second, we try to love others the way Jesus loved his disciples. Third, we show the proper respect, honor, and love for the divine gift of our self. When these different loves are in the proper order, we will be at peace.
As we grow spiritually, we succeed in putting the proper order into our lives and the result of this will be an ever-growing experience of deep, inner peace.
Greater Positivity
A ninth sign of spiritual growth is a more positive attitude toward everything. As we grow spiritually, we are able to overcome our negativity. We begin to adopt a positive, loving attitude toward ourselves, God, others, the world, and the future.
This in turn enables us to be much more patient with ourselves, with others, and with God. We become more tolerant of others, gentler, more forgiving, more willing to live and let live. We are more tolerant of differences without becoming disturbed. Others will recognize that we are less rigid, less harsh, and less judgmental. We will be able to find something good to say about everyone and every situation.
Having Self-Control
A tenth sign of spiritual progress is greater self-control. We are able to control our anger, no longer so quick to lose our patience and temper as in the past. Urges to eat, drink, shop, or indulge ourselves in some way are lessened. We are learning to think before we speak and so do not find ourselves saying things we deeply regret afterward. Our inner drives are more subject to the control of our conscious will, which in turn becomes more and more submissive to the will of God.
Greater Generosity
An eleventh sign of spiritual growth is a greater generosity in sharing with others. This sharing includes money and possessions. It also includes our talents, time, energy, experience, and spiritual gifts.
“What shall I return to the Lord for all his bounty to me?” Psalm 116:12
As we grow spiritually, we become aware that everything we have belongs to God. We are merely God’s stewards. One day, we will have to render a strict account of what use we made of all the things we now call our own. One of the best ways to make such a return is by sharing with others the many treasures and gifts with which God has so generously endowed us.
Greater Willingness to Change and Grow
A twelfth sign of spiritual progress is a greater willingness to change our old ways of thinking, acting, judging, and speaking. We never get too old to learn. We are expected to grow in wisdom, knowledge, love, and grace.
An authentic sign of such growth is the willingness to change old ways and adopt new ones. If we become too set in our old habits and ways of thinking, we stop progressing both in psychological maturity and spiritual holiness.
We should always be interested in learning something new. We never have the last word about any truth. If we close our minds and become rigid and set in our ways of thinking and acting, we will regress.
* Editor’s note: The above is an excerpt from Father Chet’s 2004 book, An Introduction to Spiritual Direction. A newly edited version of the text will be published this Fall.